I created this blog to track events in our lives and mostly to post cute pictures of my kids for Grandparents to see, but today I'm using it for another reason...
I read the quote from a friend on facebook "...our words are powerful. They go out from our mouths and into our children's souls. And if not dealt with, those negative words will embed themselves into our children's memories and become part of their belief system. Our kids are like blank canvases. We paint a pictures of who they are with the words we speak to then." Susie Larson
I have this quote hanging on our fridge to remind me daily what an important job I have as a mother, and how I am incapable of doing it well without the strength of God.
Our sermons at church have been about the Spiritual warfare going on all around us, and how Satan's number one desire is to ruin our relationships with everyone around us. Yesterday was a particularly tough day for me. Olivia was crying before we even left for church, not wanting to go to sunday school. Nathan and I have totally different ways of dealing with this and so that led into a discussion/arguement before church. At one point I said to myself "I don't even want to go today". But instantly I knew that was Satan trying to keep us from going, so then I knew I needed to go because God must have had something big to teach me.
Olivia cried most of the way to church, and when I took her into her room her teacher (who isn't the friendliest person I've ever met, to put it nicely) told me in a matter of fact voice "she never calms down either, last week I thought she was going to get sick" Not what I wanted or needed to hear. I went on to tell her church was pretty much the only time my kids weren't with me and she replied "That's not good". Thankfully as I walked out of the room fighting back the tears a nice man told me that she would be ok. All that being said, and without getting into the sermon to much, I did need to be there, and I did need to hear the message.
The point of this story you ask? Lately I have felt that maybe I'm doing more harm than good by staying home with my kids. I know this isn't true, but I get so easily frustrated (for instance I've had to stop typing about 3 times so far because Ben is crying for one reason or another). So if you would please pray for me, and my kids, and of course Nate. I feel like Satan is trying to put things into my head that dont' need to be there. I never dreamed being a full time mom would be so tough. I would never change it for anything but it isn't just some easy job. Sure I don't have the physical labor each day like my husband does, but mentally I get exhausted. I know all mom's feel this way at times, not a doubt in my mind of that. I want to raise my kids only as God would want me to so I'm leaning on Him completely to do this job to the best of my ability.
Thanks for listening, and praying...
3 weeks ago
Lindsey, I want you to know that you are both a wonderful daughter and mother. I love that you have the opportunity to stay at home with your children just as I know you do but I also know that while it is the most rewarding job a mother can have it is also a difficult one. There were many times when I was home with you and your brother I felt the same way. But you are giving your children the best possible start in life. And because you are a christian mother, Satan is going to try to make you doubt what you are doing. But I know that God is pleased with the person and mother that you are. Olivia and Ben are making memories for you that will last a lifetime. Right now you are their mother, teacher, spiritual leader, everything. And even though they may have trouble being around other people...you were the same way and look how great you turned out. I never regret for even a moment the time I spent at home with my kids. You get to see all of their "first's", something that is just not the same when told to you by someone else. God has blessed you with this time in your life and don't ever doubt this is what you are supposed to be doing. I pray for you, Nate and the kids every day and will continue to do so. This time shall pass, a lot quicker than you think. And some day, Olivia and Ben won't be at your feet crying, wanting you to hold them and you will truly miss that. Enjoy these times the best that you can because they won't last. They will grow up to be great kids because you took the time to teach them about God and right and wrong. I love the woman and mother that you have become. I wasn't a perfect mother (there aren't any) and neither are you but you love your kids so much and want the best for them and you are giving them the best, You. So, I am praying for God to give you strength each day to continue to be a great Mom. I love you, Mom
ReplyDelete‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10
ReplyDeleteKnow you are not alone. Staying home with our kids is hard, hard work! I completely understand and pray He gives you strength today!
Your transparency is greatly appreciated, and please know I'm not saying this with empty words--you ARE a great mom AND wife. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it's spiritual warfare. Good for you to scrunch up your nose and stick out your tongue at satan when it was so tempting to stay home and so hard to leave Olivia at her class.
ReplyDeleteI'm only eight months into full time mommy-hood, and we're only on the edge of the realm of disciplining, etc. A few days ago I ran across a quote that I'm putting on the fridge and bathroom mirror...
Co-laboring over the sculpting of souls is a sacred vocation, and humbling privilege. Never forget.
I'm adding the quote from your blog to the fridge/bathroom mirror as well. Despite my terrible imperfections, I seek this "perfect life" (which doesn't exist here on earth), and I'm realizing that I need to pray continually for God to use me as His tool when raising the children He has given us.
Praying for you, beautiful friend!
Ok so here is my spin on all of this Lindz. I am coming at you from the other direction. As a full time working mom this was my morning today. Mati was screaming saying she did not want to go. So I sent her to the sitters without breakfast (poptart in hand) and hair not finished, b/c she decided to scream instead of me doing her hair. So either way you look at it kids scream for their moms. I just think that is life. Our kids are very blessed to have both a mom and a dad in the same house, who are not in prision, or strung out on drugs, or many other neg. I have delt with these three issues this week at school with some students. What we worry about our kids going through is so minor, compared to what I see on a daily basis. Everytime I feel like you are feeling-this is what I refect on. We can olny do the best we can do raising our kids with God's help, and then ground and beat them when they are not listening to us. lol You are a wonderful mom to my neice and nephew,and my brother :)
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